My Diet Secrets Part 2 "Self- Esteem: You should get some!"

Aley's Challenge: Love Yourself

"There is nothing more powerful than a woman who knows exactly how beautiful, talented, and smart she really is! "



I can blog on and on about all the little diet tricks and tips I learned through my journey. But I'm not going to! All of these lessons only happened because I made one huge significant change in my life. A change that made everything possible. I decided to get some DAMN SELF- ESTEEM.  I stopped hating myself so much for being overweight, and started loving myself for everything else that really mattered!

You're probably wondering how self-esteem helped me day in and day out drop weight on the scale.
When I first started to lose weight, I did it because I felt so bad about myself. So much self hate was directed into that mirror everyday. I compared my body to everyone else's body. Every celebrity, every friend, every person that walked into the grocery store. I know this sounds awful, but as women we are programmed to want to be the prettiest and the skinniest. Think about how you feel when you're wearing sweatpants with no makeup, and someone walks into the room wearing a kick ass outfit. In a matter of seconds you size her up, compare yourself, and then secretly have a little negative tick towards her. WOMEN. WHY DO WE DO THIS TO EACH OTHER?? IT'S RIDICULOUS.

I found that the more I compared myself to other women, the more I loathed myself. I would hang up pictures of Victoria's Secret Models in my room, and secretly wish I was that little skinny girl lifting weights at the gym. I would look at myself in the mirror and say things like:

"Why can't you be as skinny as other girls? What is wrong with you? You are worthless and ugly."


I pushed and pushed and pushed until I would have a mental meltdown! And since the only way I knew how to deal with emotions was by eating, that's what I did. And lots of it. Lots of cookie dough. 


Ironically it was the self hate I had for being obese, that was actually making me gain weight. 

After a few cookie dough relapses (okay a lot of cookie dough relapses), I finally realized this behavior pattern. I knew if I ever wanted to be successful I had to stop. So I made a decision. To stop hating myself for that number on the scale, and love myself for all my awesome qualities! I stopped hating that girl who looked like Angelina Jolie in my biology class. To finally start losing serious weight it took me being able to look at another woman and say "Hey she is really beautiful, but I'm okay with that because I'm beautiful too!" If you constantly compare yourself to other women, you will never be satisfied. There will always be someone prettier and skinnier than you. And you will never reach the bliss of happiness and healthiness!

Exhibit A: Goofiness

It was this love for myself, that made me want to lose weight. It kept me motivated. When I felt like giving up, I just remembered all the great things I loved about myself. The only way to ensure that I would be able to do stuff in the future with those great qualities was if I was alive and healthy. I loved that I was dedicated, friendly, goofy, and perky. I also loved my blonde hair and my legs. This may seem conceited, or even cocky!  But I believe that loving all of the cool stuff about yourself is the foundation for happiness and healthiness. The only place we have to live is within ourself, so we should like it!

It's a lot easier to say no to that piece of cheesecake when you love yourself and your life! I used to use that cheesecake as an escape. As a reward for getting through another day of not liking my life. I could savor the taste in my mouth, and feel the rush of sugar. I would devour that cheesecake within an inch of it's damn life. But now, I don't feel the need to escape or reward myself for making it through another day. Because I love my life. I don't want to escape. My reward is that I get another day on earth! 

So my challenge to you: stop comparing yourself to other women. They are beautiful, but so are you! Every morning look at yourself in the mirror, and say three things you like about yourself. And I mean three genuine things! You'll start realizing how awesome you are, and your weight loss goals will start coming from a place of self-love, not self-hate.

Holiday eating- How I lose weight and eat cookies!

The holidays are notorious for weight gain. You indulge at Thanksgiving, and from then until Christmas you are bombarded with yummy holiday food. When you go into shock stepping on the scale after Christmas, you vow as a New Year's Resolution to lose the extra weight gain and the extra twenty pounds you have been carrying around for years! WELL, I have news for you people. There is a lot easier way to handle this overwhelming time, and it doesn't involve starving yourself or binge eating. It involves eating that damn cookie!

For the last two years I have had the same holiday game plan, and have continued to lose weight throughout the season. I don't fall into the false dilemma of choices like many others do. This false dilemma includes a 2 choice way of thought:

            1) I am not going to eat any sweets this holiday season.
            2) Screw this, let's pig out! I'll worry about it later. WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE.  LADIES. 

Why both of these methods don't work: If you deprive yourself, you will just end up craving the food so badly you will binge eat. If you allow yourself to go wild, you will definitely overeat- that's a no brainer. 75% of American weight gain takes place during the holidays. This is because of the unhealthy, negative mindsets as described here.

How do I lose weight while eating cookies you ask? It's called: PORTION CONTROL. I let myself indulge- a little bit. I mark into my calendar what days I will be having holiday parties (AKA when I will have to face my long time chocolate seduction). Then on these day I have a specific game plan on what to eat, exercise,drink etc. The rules are as followed:

-Eat very light meals: oatmeal, progresso soup, chicken salad
       (this allows for some extra caloric space in your day for those sweets you'll be consuming)

-Exercise for AT LEAST 30 MINUTES: this could be as simple as walking the dog

-When you get to the party, get one plate. Put on that plate all the deserts you want. For example I would put a cookie, piece of fudge, peanut butter ball, rice krispy treat............etc. Then allow yourself to eat a little bit of each desert. Savor the taste. Indulge. A little.

The key to this is portion control. Stay light! I love cookies. I could eat cookies all day, everyday, forever and ever. Sometimes I dream of my sister's amazingly good no-bake cookies. And I am not ashamed.

But why do we as a society feel the need to eat 8 cookies to feel satisfied?

Is that eighth cookie really all that much better than the first one? No. They still taste the same. I don't need to eat eight to enjoy the taste of my favorite desert. And if you allow yourself to eat THAT MANY SWEETS, they don't seem as special. I like to think of eating that one cookie as a reward to myself for all my hard work. I can be satisfied savoring one, and still being able to zip up my pants. 

Wiggy-what weight!

WIGGY-WHAT WEIGHT!

How much should I weigh?

I am very surprised at how many people have asked me how I knew what my healthy goal weight should be! It is actually very simple to figure out, but many of us do not know these exact amounts. It all comes down to your BMI- Body Mass Index. 

Calculating your BMI is very easy! There are several websites online that can give you this information. BMI Calculator

< 18.5 is underweight

18.5-24.9 is healthy weight

25- 29.9 is over weight

>30 is obese

The BMI can give you a healthy weight range to aim for. For example, my healthy weight range is 118-155 lbs. This information is very useful to know, but it doesn't give you the full picture! Many of you might be wondering why the range is so big? Well this is because every body has a different frame size. Some women are very lean looking, others have bigger bone structures. Not all of us have Victoria's Secret model-like lean bodies! 

To get a more narrow range of healthy weights you can figure out your frame size! The easiest way to do this is to take your thumb and forefinger and wrap it around your wrist. 

Overlapping fingers= small frame

Touching fingers= medium frame

Gap in fingers= large frame

These frame sizes can give you a more accurate picture of what your weight should be! I am a 5'6, medium frame sized women. My healthy weight range should be 130-144 lbs.

These ranges are still rather large, but they can help us further to narrow down our goals. Once you are in this range, it can be difficult to figure out where you exactly need to be. My advice about finding your IDEAL GOAL WEIGHT is to get in your frame size range- then stopping pushing yourself with the goal to lose weight. Keep exercising and eating healthy, then after about 2 months weigh yourself everyday for a week to figure out where you stand. If you are eating right and exercising, your body will find its balance and stay around a set weight. I did this, and found my body likes to stay in between 125- 129 pounds. 

Also, don't kill yourself over these numbers! Everyone is different, and the BMI is not the full story of your health. People have different compositions- if someone is muscular they weigh more. Someone who maintains a great lifestyle and is 2 pounds heavier than their range is a lot more healthy than someone who starves themselves into being a certain weight. 

*I am not a Physician, and am not qualified to give professional medical help. This blog is merely stating how I came to find my ideal weight in the hopes that it influences others to make healthy choices as well.

Big Breakfast= Little Waist

My Diet Secrets- Part 1

Big Breakfast = Little Waist

After starting this blog, I have been bombarded with questions like : "What is your secret?" "No but really, how did you do it?"  After being asked these things about a gazillion times, I thought I would share some tips! And no- they are not secrets. They are well known good habits to health advocates like myself.  If you are looking for some magic secret pill I took to lose weight then you won't find one. The only drug I ever use is ENDORPHINS.

My diet motto is: 

"Eat breakfast like a King, lunch like a Princess, and dinner like a Pauper!"

Our society has the worst meal schedule habits. EVER. Many people don't eat breakfast, overeat at lunch, have a blood sugar crash, eat an even bigger dinner to regain energy, have a blood sugar crash, have an unhealthy late night snack, and then store all of the unhealthy food as fat while we sleep.

It is hard to maintain weight, or even lose weight while in this cycle. That is why I started following my diet motto 2 year ago.

Every morning I set aside time to cook myself a delicious, healthy breakfast. I usually aim to consume around 400 calories in the morning, at least 6 grams of dietary fiber, and upwards of about 20 grams of protein. This might sound crazy to some people-- but it works! I have tons of energy through out the day, and I don't overeat at lunch or dinner. 

There are some precautions to this lifestyle though:

1) A 400 calorie allowance does not mean you can have a donut. It should be 400 calories of healthy food!

2) If you are eating this big of a breakfast, you need to scale back your other meals to balance your overall diet.

If you are willing to make these adjustments though- the results are well worth it! Not even for the weight loss, but also for the sustained energy you will feel throughout the day. Here are some examples of what I eat for each meal!

Breakfast

-Multigrain Cheerios, Silk skim milk, special K protein shake, banana

-2 pieces of whole wheat toast, low fat peanut butter, and cut up bananas

-Egg white shake with blue berries, strawberries, and pineapple, and protein powder

-Oatmeal with peanut butter and dried fruit mixed in

-Whole wheat english muffin with turkey bacon and scrambled egg whites

Yummy Turkey Bacon and Egg Whites!

-When in a rush I will grab a handful of nuts, an apple, and a Special K Protein bar to eat while walking to class!

Turkey Burger with Carrot Fries!

Lunch

-Turkey Burger 

-Fat Free Hot Dogs

-Whole Wheat Pizza

-Whole Wheat Pasta

-Honey Mustard Chicken

-Shrimp Stir Fry

-Chicken Burrito (with whole wheat tortilla)

-Fish Tacos

-Chicken Nachos

Whole Wheat Pasta with Pesto!

My lunch is basically like most people's dinners, except with healthy alternatives. For example, instead of having a burger and fries, I would have a turkey burger on a wheat bun with mixed veggies and wheat thins.

Dinner

-Lean meat and veggies

-Lean meat and salad

-Healthy Soup

I eat very small dinners. This is because I have already eaten enough throughout the day. When I eat at night I'm not ravenously hungry! I also try to avoid all starchy food at night--NO BREAD. I stick to very lean meals consisting of chicken or fish, veggies, salad, and soup. I recommend Progresso light soups!

LATE NIGHT SNACKS

Late night junk food eating= VERY VERY BAD

If you eat junk food late at night you're not giving your body enough time to process the bad food. So you're basically storing all of that junk food in your system as extra fat when you go to sleep. 

This is why I don't eat after 9 o'clock at night. 

If it is 8:30 and I am still a little hungry, I will definitely snack on something. But I can guarantee you it won't be junk food!

  Past dinner time the only thing I will snack on is fruits or veggies! 

I eat like this everyday, and it works! This is because I don't diet.

Instead I maintain a healthy lifestyle! I eat good, nutritious food when I am hungry, and I NEVER starve myself. 

The "Skinny" on my Relationships

Friends & Love

Dedicated to the wonderful women who have stood by me! Enjoy the pictures of my beautiful best friends.

Many of you see this title, and are probably wondering "Why is Aley talking about relationships?" The answer is very simple! Relationships affect how we feel about ourselves. How we feel about ourselves can affect our body image, and thus our weight.

When I say relationships, I don't just mean my previous experiences with men. I am talking about my relationships with guys, friends, family....the whole sha-bang!

I use to let myself get walked all over by people I was close with in the past. My downfall is that I was too nice. I NEVER stuck up for myself. This personality flaw of mine caused me to be in relationships with people that weren't the greatest for me. These friends and ex-boyfriends were rude, mean, jealous, and just not good humans!

I am definitely not an expert about anything in the love department, but I have learned a lot in the past two years of my weight loss journey. Being with someone who supports you, and makes you feel beautiful 100% of the time is completely necessary! This person should make you happy and bring joy to your life, not added stress. If your love interest makes you feel bad about the way you look, or brings unhappiness to your life ------

                                                                         JUST LET THEM GO.

I found that having these type of boyfriends just made my life hell. I have had assholes tell me some pretty ridiculous things! I've been told that "Girl you're cute but if you wanna be hot you need to work a little bit harder in the gym", or "Why are you eating that? Don't you want to look more like your skinny friends?", or my personal favorite "You are alright, but you're body isn't my type and I don't like your hair color. I like brunettes who look skinny".

Those things were heartbreaking to hear. They caused me to feel so bad about myself. But ironically it was because I felt so bad about myself that I stayed with these lame excuses for men! They continued to make me feel worse about myself by putting down my looks, and ironically I continued to eat my feelings.

Significant others aren't the only people who can have this affect on me either! Friendships can be just as negative. Girl are AWFUL. AWFUL. I have the type of personality where I won't stick up for myself even if someone is deliberately tearing me down. Bullies pick victims, like myself, and go after them again and again!

First of all, bullies are only mean to people because they feel bad about themselves. I was purposely left out of groups or parties, made to feel like I was weird, and treated like the scum of the earth. And while I can go on and on about what horrible people these girls were, the real problem lied within me. 

Why didn't I ever stand up to these bullies? I was scared. I felt awful about myself, but I was so scared that if I ever stood up to them they would make my life 10x worse. So I just stayed mute. And instead I ate. I ate sooo much food. I would come home from high school, and just eat all night. I would eat chocolate chip cookie dough and diet coke as an after school snack, a burger or pizza for dinner, then maybe ice cream or candy before bed. I felt awful! And the only way I knew how to deal with that was to eat. The saddest part of that whole experience was that I considered these bullies my friends.

I can say without a doubt in my mind, that the bad relationships I had with my boyfriends and girlfriends were the biggest reasons for my obesity problem. When I first realized I had an obesity problem and was trying to conquer the weight, I came to this realization. I knew then that I would have to cut out all bad friendships and romantic relationships that every caused me to feel bad about myself.

Two years later, and I have never had a more fulfilling social life! My girlfriends are amazing. When I moved to KU, I chose very wisely who I was going to be close with. I now have a circle of close girlfriends, who I am certain that I will remain inseparable with for quite some time. We all love each other, and no one intentionally tries to put others down. And while I am not saying I am the "perfect friend", I feel all of us aspire to be that for each other. We are genuinely happy when one of us succeeds, and feel for each other in rough times. Through out my weight loss process they have stood by me, and at every weight they have continually told me that I was a beautiful person. And now that I have succeeded in reaching my goal, and have made a new goal to help spread awareness about obesity- they stand by me 100%. I don't think I could ask for better fans! They read every blog, give me advice, and help me stay focused. I have been blessed to have found these true friendships, and I thank God every day for bringing them in my life! That is why I have plastered their photos all over this blog:)

As for my experience with men, I have not been as successful! When you lose so much weight, your body changes dramatically- while your mindset stays the same. I had such little self-esteem and low self  worth for the longest time. I was just so happy that any man was paying me attention, I didn't even realize it was negative attention!

After making some bad decisions, dating a ridiculously large amount of jerks, and lots of crying while eating frozen yogurt & watching Nicolas Sparks movies with my girlfriends to console myself,
 I have finally made some strides in the right direction when it comes to men! If a man does not support what you are doing, doesn't make you feel beautiful, doesn't make you happy, doesn't act that into you, doesn't make your life better.....
JUST DUMP HIM.

Life is way to short to not feel good about yourself. And as proven with me, if you don't feel happy in your relationships it can have serious effects on your health! You are the most important person in your  life. We are taught that having low self-esteem is bad, but that having pride in ourselves is cocky. There is no shame in loving yourself enough to know that you deserve better.

Loving yourself for the right reasons, and demanding that you get treated with nothing less than respect isn't being cocky. It's called being healthy. 

Get Drunk- Not Fat!

"The Healthy Party Girl"

Making a commitment to your health in college is definitely not an easy thing to do. There are so many temptations! For myself these included ice cream and cookies from the cafeteria, gloriously cheap and trashy restaurant food, and alcohol.

While I did make a commitment to myself to lose weight and stay in shape, I also refused to not enjoy my life. Health is all about a balance. I still go out to eat with my friends, occasionally have a frozen treat, and I DEFINITELY still get my drink on while maintaining my healthy lifestyle.

The problem with college life though, is that so many students don't understand how to maintain this balance! The campus mentality promotes going out, getting drunk off your ass, snacking on junk food late at night, waking up late the next day with a hangover, moping around and eating bad food to recover, then repeating this process at least 3 times a week.

This is not healthy. At all. Not only will the added calories from your consumption of alcohol and junk food help you create a weight problem, getting trashed that often can create hidden and latent health effects. Your liver will not thank you 20 years from now!

Instead of allowing this cycle to slowly break down your health, you can be proactive with your drinking style! Here are some tips I go by:

1) Plan ahead.     
When I look ahead at my weekly schedule, I try and plan when I am going to drink. For example, if I know I am probably going to have a few drinks when I go out on Saturday night, I will avoid restaurant food and sweets Thursday and Friday to save myself some calories.

2)  Don't drink to get trashed.
If you are trying to maintain your weight and healthy lifestyle, you shouldn't be drinking to get trashed as possible. There is nothing healthy about drinking till you pass out or until you can't remember anything. First of all, the amount of calories you would consume to do that is ridiculous, and the damage you are doing to your body from that much alcohol is obscene. How are you suppose to maintain a fit machine when you are constantly putting garbage in it?  Instead drink socially. Have a few shots. Drink 3 beers. Have a mixed drink. It is okay to get a little buzzed or tipsy!

3) Do something active.
If you are sitting around watching a movie while drinking hard alcohol, you are not giving your body the extra boost to burn off the caloric effects. I know what you are thinking... "Does Aley really expect me to do a workout while I'm drunk?"And the answer is no. Not at all! There are so many things I do to help my body burn off the alcohol in my system.
 1) Dance it out. An hour of intense dancing can burn more than 400 calories!
 2) Walk to the party or bar. Walking in high heels= major calorie burn!
 3) Don't sit down at your destination. Staying on your feet for 3 hours will knock out some calories!
 4) If you still have some energy left when you get home, do 100 crunches. BURN THAT BEER BELLY!

4) Don't drunk munch on junk food.
I always have something set out to eat when I get home that is healthy and tasty! My favorites include: string cheese, peanut butter oatmeal, wheat thins with laughing cow spread, or baby carrots and low fat ranch.  Save yourself the calories and the regret in the morning! You will feel so much better if you don't order that cream cheese pizza from the Pizza Shuttle.

  Eat this! 

  NOT THIS.

  












5) Drink light alcohol.
Most people are unaware of how caloric their drinks actually are. You might be drinking your whole days worth of calories in one night at the bar! On average:
1 shot = 100 calories
1 beer= 150 calories
1 margarita= 500 calories
1 mixed drink= 300 calories
If I were to have 2 margaritas, that would be a little bit more than half of my daily amount of calories! YIKES.
I recommend looking up how many calories are in your favorite drink, and comparing them to healthy alternatives at websites such as: Get Drunk Not Fat.



This may seem extreme, but if you are really serious about losing weight and staying in shape these tips are the way to go! I have not only maintained my body, but have continued to lose weight while sticking to these guidelines. Sometimes you just need to be a little tipsy to get fully cardio-jiggy with it on the dancefloor!

Now that you know the basics..... Go get your Healthy Boozing on! 

University Daily Kansan- Aley Brown's story

I was featured in the University Daily Kansan this past week! They did an article about obesity in Kansas, and used my story as an example. Check it out!

UDK- Aley Brown's story